


You Don't Want Me Around

by Machines_Analog_Interface



Series: Corpse Candles [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: BAMF Kara Danvers, Character Death, Clark is an ass, F/F, Ghost Lena, Heavy Angst, I dont know what the fuck is this, Invisible AU, Lex is good bro, Lillian is not that bitchy mother, Minor Sanvers, Mutual Pining, Presumed Dead, SuperCorp owns my ass, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-11-08
Packaged: 2019-01-06 06:36:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12205839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Machines_Analog_Interface/pseuds/Machines_Analog_Interface
Summary: “KARA LOOK AT ME!”Kara froze in place, her brows furrowed and eyes wide as she turned around.“Lena?” She whispered and Lena almost cried on her spot. Relief washing over her.“Kara, can you hear me?” She asked in disbelief, her eyes wide and filled with fear; stepping closer to her she repeated the question.“Where are you?” Blonde asked as she looked around confused, trying to find the figure to who belonged the voice.“I’m right in front of you.” Lena repliedORLena is kinda ghost and only Kara can hear/see her





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> Not proof read-ed, not edited, not beta-ed or not anything. I'm just moody fucker and wrote this in like 15 mins instead of crying or getting hammered myself. 
> 
> Title's form [Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ImlfxeXXaE)  
> 

 When Lena opened her eyes first thing she saw were sun beams, coming through the holes in the hatch. And how only she managed to end up in here? From what she could tell she was lying in the sewerage well. When events of last nights flooded into her mind she sat up abruptly.

She could recall some wild party at Jack’s house. Mike was getting handsy with Kara. She punched him in the face as he toppled into the swimming pool. She had an argument with Clark and she left. Then she was on the road alone, totally hammered, holding bottle of half empty beer in one hand. Red pick-up stopped abruptly behind her and next thing she remembered was being dragged into the woods.

She recognized Mike when he swung wooden bat at her stomach. She remembered pain. Lots of it. Until one particular strong blow to side of her head pulled last bits of consciousness out of her.

She looked at herself. Her clothes weren’t as dirty as she expected. And she felt fine in general if not some kind of hollowness inside her she couldn’t put finger or.

She stood up and crawled out of the well, marching towards the road. After not so long walk she reached her home. Lena didn’t even bother to greet anyone as she went upstairs to pick up her back pack and go to school. She hadn’t much time to change after all. And if she was being honest, yesterday’s crazy events didn’t take their toll on her.

Maybe she just dreamed it all. Whatever it was she hadn’t much time for that now as she rushed towards her school.

Once at school, she took her usual sit in class. Mike wasn’t at school. Neither Alex, nor her best friend Lucy. It was weird but then she looked over at Maggie who was sitting with huge glassed and smiled to herself. Yeah, apparently she was only one besides Lena who didn’t bail on school because of hangover. 

Everything seemed fine until Winn spoke up about quantum entanglement to which Mr. Lord chuckled, grinning devilishly at Winn.

“If only Miss Luthor were here. I’d like to see what she would tell you about that theory Mr. Schott.” He said and Lena arched eyebrow.

“I’d say that he’s wrong and I can prove it.” Lena stated as she looked at Winn who wasn’t looking at her, frowning to his notes.

“Speaking of her, Miss Sawyer?” Maxwell spoke to Maggie who immediately came to life upon mention of her name.

“Yes, Mr. Lord?” She said as she fumbled with her sunglasses.

“Do you know why Miss Luthor is absent today?” He asked and Lena scowled,

“What do you mean absent?” Lena asked but for some reason teacher ignored her completely.

“I don’t know, she might be sick or something.” Maggie replied, shrugging.

“What the fuck?” Lena stood up. “Is this some kind of joke?” She asked as she looked around, nobody giving her mind as Lena kept freaking out.

Lena started clapping her hands in the faces of her classmates but none of them had any reactions. Even Maggie. She walked to the front row and grabbed the book, throwing it across the room. Book crashed into shelf, throwing everything over. Lena looked around, still no reaction. Then she looked at the desk from where she picked up the book she threw only to find it back there in same position.

Her head snapped towards shelf that looked untouched.

“What the hell is happening?!” Lena screamed as she turned the table upside down only to blink as everything turned back to their previous state. Untouched.

* * *

 Lena was walking around the school for hours, screaming and kicking until there was no one left in hallway. Suddenly doors opened and she saw Kara walking into school with tired look on her face.

“Kara?” Lena called out but blonde didn’t say anything as she breezed past her. Lena turned on her heel only to scream at blonde on the top of her lungs. “KARA LOOK AT ME!”

Kara froze in place, her brows furrowed and eyes wide as she turned around.

“Lena?” She whispered and Lena almost cried on her spot. Relief washing over her.

“Kara, can you hear me?” She asked in disbelief, her eyes wide and filled with fear; stepping closer to her she repeated the question.

“Where are you?” Blonde asked as she looked around confused, trying to find the figure to who belonged the voice.

“I’m right in front of you.” Lena replied

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I still don't know why I wrote this. anyway, if by some miracle anyone wants full story behind it, let me know in comments. Hopefully I'll be dead by tomorrow. 
> 
> I'll either delete this shit either continue it. It's all depends on you ppl.


	2. You can hear me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Actual first chapter with background story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect such response to it tbh. 
> 
> Thanks to Lefthandedphoenix for bearing with me and fixing all this!

Lena opened her eyes lazily. It was almost seven in the morning and her phone was about to explode. Rolling to her side, she reached over to the nightstand to pick it up. Lucy’s selfie brightened her screen and Lena was already rolling her eyes.

“What the fuck Luce?” Lena asked.

 _“Open the window,”_ she heard Lucy say quietly from the other end.

“Pardon?” Lena arched an eyebrow at her best friend’s request.

 _“Open the damn window, Lee, I’m freezing out here!”_ Lucy whisper-shouted and Lena rolled out of her bed.

Approaching and opening her window, Lena put away her phone; she barely had time to look around as Lucy jumped inside, shoving Lena back. They tripped and Lucy landed on Lena. Long haired brunette grunted, throwing Lucy to the side.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Lena asked when Lucy finally got up.

“You remember that overdose case, right?” Lucy asked and Lena nodded. _How could I forget?_ Lena thought to herself bitterly “I overheard my father last night. They have a suspect. You know? About the guy who sold that shit to our kids…” Lucy said as she sat on Lena’s bed.

“Who?” Lena asked, leaning back against her desk.

“They think it’s one of the seniors of National City High,” Lucy said and threw her head back.

“Oh great!” Lena smiled wryly, “Drug dealer classmate, just what we need for out last year, huh?”

Lucy chuckled dryly from her resting place, perching herself up on her elbows as she looked at Lena.

“Yea, I bet Lex is furious,” Lucy said and Lena sighed. “Get dressed. We’ll be late for school.” Lucy said eventually as she stood up, shoving Lena into her own bathroom.

“Want me to pick you up?” Lucy asked when Lena stepped into the shower. Since she sneaked in through the window, she couldn’t really walk down the stairs to meet Lillian like that. So maybe she could sneak back out and park her car at the gates like normal people do?

“Nah, I’ll take the bicycle,” Lena called out.

“It’s raining outside, Lee,” she tried to reason but Lena wasn’t having any of it.

“I prefer to soak to the bones and not listen to my mother’s rant about how I’m wasting my time in the car with you, gossiping, while I could get there faster and _healthier_ on a bike,” Lena answered with hint of sarcasm and sighed.

“I can wait somewhere nearby, and when you reach me we’ll put your bike in my trunk and drive like normal people,” Lucy offered.

“Uh… actually that sounds good.” Lena said and mumbled something under her breath.

“What?”

Luthor poked her head out, one eye closed and covered with shampoo. “I said that you’ll have to wait on the corner of the street for 15 minutes.”

“Sure. See you there,” Lucy said as she went back to the window, crawling out as quietly as possible.

Walking out of the shower, Lena got dressed quickly, putting black on skinny jeans and a dark blue shirt. Considering the weather, she decided to go with black combat boots and a thin coat. Giving herself one last appraising look in the mirror, she nodded to herself and walked out of her room.

She was about to walk out of the house when her mother’s calm voice halted her in her actions.

“Breakfast is ready,” she announced, leaving no room for arguments. Lena clenched her jaw and let out a calming breath. She didn’t really plan on having breakfast when she told Lucy she’d be out in 15.

She followed her mother into the dining room. While Lillian had her back to Lena, the latter fished out her phone, typing a quick text to Lucy.

 **Baby Luthwhore:** Mom insisted on breakfast. Go without me. See you at school.

Lucy texted back quickly.

 **My Personal Aneurism:** You sure? It’s cold outside today

 **Baby Luthwhore:** I’m a big girl, Luce. I can handle the cold.

 **My Personal Aneurism:** Whatever you say fucker, Ily

 **Baby Luthwhore:** Love you too

Lena took off her coat and hung it over the back of her chair. Pocketing her phone quickly, she took the seat and stared at the plate. They ate in silence, Lillian asking her questions here and there.

“I talked to the professor from Institute Le Rosey. They’re expecting you on Wednesday,” Lillian stated calmly as she took a sip from her cup of tea.

“This Wednesday?!” Lena exclaimed, eyes wide.

“Yes,” older woman replied nonchalantly and looked Lena in the eyes. “You have two days to prepare. That’s plenty of time to say goodbye to your friends and pack your clothes.”

“I thought I was going next month, why did they change their mind?” Lena asked again.

“They didn’t. I did. That school is amazing and you can’t complain about dying from boredom there. They also have good sports program so it’ll keep you fit.”

“B-but mom! I can’t go that early, I... I have to finish some stuff before going there and two days is not enough.” Lena almost pleaded.

“Well, that’s too bad then, isn’t it? And I’m sure that _stuff_ can wait. I already bought a first class ticket for you,” Lillian replied calmly, reading the newspaper. “Your uncle will meet you at the airport of Zürich. He’ll drive you to the village where the Institute is.”

“Why wouldn’t you just let me go to MIT?” Lena grunted out.

“Because they won’t teach you anything you do not already know.” the woman took another sip form her cup.

“Does Lex know?” Lena asked then, and Lillian immediately put down the newspaper.

“Your brother is a busy man, Lena,” Lillian answered, coldness seeping into her voice.

“He’s a detective, mom! Not a CEO, unlike you. He could find a time,” Lena said and Lillian set her jaw.

“Lena, your education in not your brother’s business and if you’re done eating then leave because you’ll be late for school.” Older Luthor didn’t leave any room for arguments as she picked up her newspaper and started reading it again.

Lena stormed out of the house, cursing and muttering something under her breath. Of course Lillian wouldn’t ask her opinion. If only she could tell Lex. Surely he would do something about it, but no. Her mother was way too obstinate to do anything now.

Plugging her earphones in, Lena put on some music on her phone and hopped on her bicycle, gates of her yard opening in front of her as the doorman greeted her with “good morning” and closed the gates behind her.

The ride to school was quiet. It was a rainy day and Lena kept paddling away not as careful as usual. School seemed somewhat melancholic from outside, though inside hallways were crowded and busy. Lena was about to approach her locker when somebody bumped into her from behind. Before she could turn around, someone grabbed her by arms so she wouldn’t fall on the floor.

“Golly! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to, are you okay? I’m really sorry…” Blonde girl started to ramble, fidgeting with her glasses as she apologized.

“It’s quite alright, Kara, I’m sure you had nothing to do about it,” Lena stated as she shot a glare at Maggie, who happened to accidentally push Kara and now was grinning like a cat that ate the canary. Maggie only shrugged at her unsaid accusation and approached the duo.

“Hey there little Luthor! How’s life?” she asked cheerfully and Lena chuckled at her, rolling her eyes.

“Couldn’t be greater, Sawyer. Don’t you have a girlfriend to look for?” she asked and Maggie laughed.

“Don’t you have a crush to make confessions to?” petite brunette jabbed back and grinned when Lena fixed her with a murderous glare.

“What’s happening here?” Alex asked as she approached the trio in the middle of the hallway. “Oh, hey Lena!” She greeted raven haired girl with a smile.

“Hey Alex,” Lena said and looked back at Maggie. “To your previous question, your girlfriend here is about to have her ass handed to her.”

Alex looked over at her blushing sister and then back at her smirking girlfriend and smirked herself. “Ah, I see… I’ll whisk her away then,” she said and looked at Kara. “See you later, sis,” she added and dragged Maggie away.

“So… how are you?” Kara asked awkwardly, fidgeting with her hands.

“I’m good,” Lena lied. “How about you?” she asked, walking down the hallway to her locker as Kara followed her lead.

“Peachy!” blonde grinned. “I was wondering…” Kara started, trying to play it cool. “I was going to try out that new fermentation place tomorrow, and uhm, would you like to join me? After classes?”

Lena turned towards the blonde, a little taken aback by the unexpected invitation. Lena smiled at her widely and nodded. “Yeah, I’d like that.” Kara beamed at her.

“Deal, I’ll text you the details then?” the blonde puppy asked and Lena nodded.

* * *

The rest of the day went as usual. Debates in the science class with Mr. Lord and Winn. Lucy teasing her mercilessly about her crush. It was a normal boring day at school in short.

After classes Lucy and Lena went to Lucy’s car. When they were about to get in, Jack ran up to them. Lucy was busy with folding Lena’s bicycle into her trunk.

“There you are! I was looking for you the whole day!” Jack said, as he leaned against Lucy’s Jeep, catching his breath.

“What is it Jacky?” Lena asked, smiling at her friend’s breathless state.

“I’m throwing a party tonight, and I’m expecting you two to come,” he said and narrowed his eyes at Lena’s grimace. “I won’t take no for an answer,” he said firmly and then grinned mischievously. “I invited Kara and her friends, she said she’d come,” he added for good measure and Lena groaned, banging her head against the windshield. 

“Why you two are so fucking persistent about it?!” Lena asked as she glared at both grinning figures in front of her. “Can’t you two just mind your own business, please? Thank you!” Lena said as she threw her backpack into the back seat and opened the front door, taking the passenger seat. 

Jack only chuckled at Lena’s mock outburst and turned to Lucy, mumbling something about the time and then left. Lucy got into the car, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

“Stop bitching, Lee, it’ll be great!” Lucy said and started the car.

“Whatever you say,” Lena mumbled, fastening the safety belt.

* * *

 By 9pm Lucy and Lena were at Jack’s house. The building was filled with drunken teenagers, dancing to deafeningly loud music. Lena texted Jack when they got there and the host of the night found them immediately.

“Finally, I almost thought you two were bailing on me,” Jack said as he led them into the kitchen.

“Snacks, free drinks and Lena’s crush? Are you kidding? How could we miss that?” Lucy asked and was immediately elbowed by Lena. “Oowf, what was that for?” Lucy asked and Lena scowled at her.

“You know for what,” she shot back and accepted the cup of beer that Jack poured for her.

“Don’t drink it yet, you two must warm up with tequila shots first,” Jack announced as he started pouring clear liquid into 12 glasses. They were quick to down them as Jack handed girls their cups of beer.

As soon as Lena took the first sip she narrowed her eyes at Jack. “You spiked it, didn’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jack held up his hands but a smile gave him away.

“What did you add?” Lena asked and Jack gave up.

“Just a little bit of vodka,” he said and Lena sighed.

“Yeah, _little bit,_ ” she repeated mockingly as she took another sip from her spiked beer.

“How did you even notice that after the shots? You’re a devil,” Jack muttered as he walked out of the kitchen.

Lucy and Lena made themselves comfortable in the surprisingly (more like miraculously) empty kitchen, as they drank and enjoyed music for a few calm minutes. Lena was building up the courage to tell her best friend that she’d be shipped off to Switzerland in two days. She was going to tell her.  Really, but she didn’t want to ruin the party for her. But then again, she reminded herself that Lucy deserved to know. That was until Kara Danvers walked into the house with Alex and Maggie right behind her.

Lena wanted to sneak out and take Lucy with her so they could talk but Lucy, unaware of her plans, had another idea, apparently. She yelled over the crowd, attracting Maggie’s attention, who quickly dragged  Alex and Kara over into the kitchen.

“Twice a day, what a blessing little Luthor,” Maggie grinned from the doorway as she stepped into the kitchen.

“More like a curse, Maggie,” Lena retorted and Maggie faked a pout before grinning. “Hey, Alex. Hello Kara.”

“Hey...” both answered in union. Kara smiling at Lena while Alex rolled her eyes at her sister.

“I just remembered that I need to show Alex and Maggie something,” Lucy started, shooting a meaningful look at the couple. “I think you and Kara can manage everything here by yourselves, yeah?” Lucy more stated than asked, and walked out of the room with grinning Maggie and huffing Alex.

“Don’t get lost Kara, and answer my texts!” Alex called out from the door.

“Will do!” blonde said and turned to Lena with a hesitant smile.

* * *

Kara and Lena were in the middle of the conversation when a couple of drank students barged into the kitchen. The couple took their drinks and left the room, heading outdoors near the pool. It was way past midnight and party was still wild. Almost everyone was drunk. Alex and Maggie were perched up somewhere inside the house, Lucy was throwing balls into cups and cheering loudly near the pool. Jack was right next to her, trying to beat his friend but vainly.

Kara got a text from her sister, announcing that she was going to leave and asking if she wanted to come home with her and Maggie. Blonde typed an answer back quickly and she and Lena were making their way into the house when Mike stopped Kara near the pool. He threw an arm over her shoulder and pulled Kara closer. He was beyond drunk if the smell that he emitted was anything to go by.

“Heeeyy, Kara! I was l-looking… for you all night,” he slurred and grinned at her.

“I’m in a rush Mike,” Kara smiled at him politely and tried to free herself from his grip but he only tugged her closer.

“Don’t be a bummer Kara, how many times do I have to ask you out before you overcome your pride?” Mike asked, with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

“I’m really in a rush Mike,” Kara repeated despite the insult, trying really hard to get his hands off of her.

“She said she’s in a rush asshole,” Lena called out and caught Mike’s attention (actually, not only his).

“It’s her?!” Mike asked, disbelief covering his voice. “You’re refusing _me_ because of a _Luthor?_ ” He spat her name.

“Watch your tongue Mike.” Kara clenched her jaw, having enough of him.

“Ah, so you’re protecting your little lesbian psycho now?” he asked and laughed. “C’mon Kara, you can’t be serious. Let’s get out of here and I bet you won’t even remember that word tomorrow,” he said with a self-satisfied grin.

“Shut your mouth.” Kara warned as she finally untangled herself from his arms, not even noticing that Lena was standing right behind her now. Everyone around them stopped whatever they were doing and stared at the three of them.

“You have no idea what you’re refusing to, Kara. Ditching me because of that bitch…. Who would have guessed! Sweet sunny Kara would be a dyke?” he said loudly, and just as the words left his mouth, Lena’s fist connected with his face. He staggered back, holding his bloody nose.

Looking up from his bloody hands, he glared at Lena. “You bitch!” he roared and launched himself at Lena, only to be ditched again and get another fist into his face. This time he fell straight into the swimming pool, Jack and Lucy running up to Kara and Lena.

“What’s going on? You okay?” Jack asked them both, looking back at Mike who was trying to get out of the pool, cursing and spitting out water.

“We’re leaving,” Lena stated and took Kara’s hand, leading her into the house where Maggie and Alex awaited them.

Lena was quick to dismiss their questions as she said goodbyes and turned on her heel, heading back into the house. She was stopped by a soft grip on her wrist and turned around immediately.

“I, uh... thank you Lena,” Kara muttered and pulled her into a hug before she could talk herself out of it. “For… defending my honor,” Kara mumbled and kissed her on the cheek, smiling as she left very much stunned Lena Luthor at the doorsteps of Jack’s house. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she smiled and waved from the car.

“Bye Kara,” Lena said and smiled. Maggie showed her thumbs up and Alex gave her a small wave before driving off.

Lena turned on her heel and headed back into the house. Fortunately she didn’t ran into Mike anywhere on her way as she headed straight into the kitchen where Lucy already made herself comfy, waiting for Lena to come.

Lucy was about to open her mouth when Lena held up a hand, silencing her effectively.

“If that is a lecture on your tongue, then save it. I’m out of my fighting limits for today,” Lena said as she chugged three fingers worth of whiskey.

“I was going to say nice punch,” Lucy shrugged, holding her hands up in surrender.

Lena stopped for a moment and rolled her eyes at herself. Of course Lucy wouldn’t lecture her for kicking that fuckboy’s ass but compliment her for doing so.

“Thanks,” she answered after a while and swallowed another mouthful of whiskey.

“Jack won’t appreciate you consuming his father’s _million years_ old scotch,” Lucy said mockingly and Lena only scowled, downing her fourth tumbler.

She felt sickeningly dizzy, which didn’t mean good for her. Her chest felt heavy; she hunched over the kitchen island, breathing heavily.

“Lee, you okay?” Lucy asked, suddenly alarmed by the youngest Luthor’s state.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just need to get it out. Literally,” she mumbled and headed upstairs, towards the bathroom.

Lucy passed out on the stool, her head resting on the island, drooling over her left arm. Lena turned back and looked at Lucy. _And what am I supposed to do with you now?_ Lena thought as she shook her head. Jack walked into the kitchen and sighed, alcohol taking its toll on him as well.

“I don’t think that any of us is capable of driving tonight. Seems like you two are staying over,” Jack said and moved towards Lucy, hoisting her up in his arms. “You two can sleep in my room, I’ll be on the couch when I kick everyone out,” he said tiredly and moved towards the stairs, carrying passed out Lucy towards his room.

“I’ll go to the bathroom and then, probably, join her.”

“Okay, call me if you or Luce feel sick or something. Goodnight!” Jack said over his shoulder.

“Goodnight Jacky” Lena mumbled tiredly.

 Lena padded upstairs, barely standing on her feet. She didn’t think twice before she opened the doors into the bathroom. All she wanted was to vomit all the alcohol she consumed today. She didn’t expect to see Clark and Mike, inhaling some kind of white powder, with no one other than John Corben. Lex’s partner, the one with whom Lex worked on the case of those dead students.

“It’s you,” Lena mumbled, her eyes wide open, finally feeling awake.

“Lena… I’ll explain it, I swear,” Clark started when Lena turned around and plunged herself out of the bathroom, running towards the front door. Clark was quick to follow her, grabbing her elbow as he stopped her in the kitchen.

“Lena, let me explain, please…” Clark started, panic written all over his face.

Lena laughed at that.

“Explain? Explain what, Clark? You selling this shit to kids? What will Kara think when she finds out that her cousin is the fucker responsible for deaths of those kids?” Lena scoffed, grabbing the nearest bottle of beer and taking a large sip from it.

“Lena you can’t tell anyone about this,” Clark warned and Luthor heiress scowled at that.

“Oh, can’t I? Fucking try me Clark!” Lena growled. “Did you know that the guy upstairs is a cop? Same cop that works on the case of Jess’ and Hector’s drug inducted expire?” she asked, her tone growing harsher. “They were my friends Clark.”

“Lena, I’m sorry…” he mumbled, Lena only chuckled mirthlessly.

“Shove your pity far up your ass Clark,” Lena said and left the kitchen without another word.

"You are barking up the wrong tree Lena!" Clark called after her but she wasn't listening anymore.

Lena didn’t think much about leaving. She didn’t even bother to warn Jack. All she wanted was to get far, far away from the person who she thought was her friend. _Why does Jack have to live in the wilderness anyways?_

She was walking at the side of the road for a long time. Or she just thought it was long time. Taking absent minded sips from the bottle of beer she couldn’t recall when she got. She was still in the alcohol inducted haze when bright headlights shone behind her.

Lena stared at her shadow, not giving a damn about whoever was about to breeze past her. However, they didn’t _breeze_ past her as she initially assumed they would. Instead the car halted to stop right behind Lena.

Two figures jumped out of their seats; Lena finally turned around. She couldn’t make out their faces in the bright lights. All she saw was something like a baseball bat. Lena not only saw it but also felt it in the base of her stomach, stealing breath from her lungs.

Another blow and she was on the ground. The figures bent down and picked her up. In that moment she recognized one face. It was Mike.

Mike fucking Matthews.

This wasn’t good news. She walked in on them and then ran away, threatening Clark as she did so.  Great, just great! She was about to get killed because she couldn’t keep her calm and act more diplomatically. _Yeah, mother will be disappointed,_ she thought.

She didn’t know if it was because of the alcohol or just sheer fear but she couldn’t feel punches and blows that those two were showering her with.  Whatever it was she could still feel her body being dragged away from the road, somewhere deep into the woods. Only now she started to feel the pain. Sharp, agonizing pain all over her body. She couldn’t even breathe properly, and the only thing she could wish for now was to make it stop. No matter how. Even if they would kill her, she just wanted this pain to stop. Every second was stretching out into a century, and all she wanted to do was scream or faint, anything that would save her from gut-wrenching aching all over her.

Another sharp blow and she was out. She didn’t know if it was good or bad, but for now she was grateful for whatever it was. Pain stopped and she gave into the sudden bliss of unconsciousness.

* * *

Sunbeams were the first thing Lena saw when she opened her eyes; they were coming through the holes in the hatch. And how only did she manage to end up in here? From what she could tell, she was lying in the sewage well. When events of last nights flooded back into her mind, she sat up abruptly.

She could recall some wild party at Jack’s house. Mike was getting handsy with Kara and starting trash talking about her in front of everyone. She punched him in the face; he toppled into the swimming pool. She had an argument with Clark, and she left. Then she was on the road alone, totally hammered, holding a bottle of half empty beer in one hand. Red pickup stopped abruptly behind her, and next thing she remembered was being dragged into the woods.

She recognized Mike when he swung at her with a wooden bat. She remembered pain. Lots of it. Until one particular strong blow to the side of her head pulled last bits of consciousness out of her.

She looked at herself. Her clothes weren’t as dirty as she expected. And she felt fine in general, if not some kind of hollowness inside her she couldn’t put her finger on.

She stood up and crawled out of the well, marching towards the road. A few cars drove past her, none of them bothering to stop when Lena tried to signal them. She cursed her luck and padded all the way to her home with a frown on her face.

The weather seemed warm. Sun was shining brightly in the sky, there were no signs of clouds, yet she felt somewhat cold.  After not so long she finally reached her home. Lena didn’t even bother to greet anyone as she went upstairs to pick up her backpack and go to school. She didn’t have much time to change after all. And if she was being honest, yesterday’s crazy events didn’t take their toll on her.

Maybe she just dreamed it all. Whatever it was, she didn’t have much time for that now as she rushed towards her school.

Once at school, she took her usual sit in class that was expectedly empty. That bitch Mike wasn’t at school. That wasn’t weird since half of the school got drunk at Jack’s party last night. Neither Alex, nor her best friend Lucy were at school. It was weird, but then she looked over at Maggie, who was sitting with huge sunglasses, and smiled to herself. Yeah, apparently she was the only one besides Lena who didn’t bail on school because of a hangover. Why wasn’t Alex with her, though? She was sure Alex shared this class with them, too.

Everything seemed fine until Winn spoke up about quantum entanglement to which Mr. Lord chuckled, grinning devilishly at Winn.

“If only Miss Luthor were here. I’d like to see what she would tell you about that theory Mr. Schott,” he said and Lena arched her eyebrow, rolling her eyes at the choice of words of her teacher.

“I’d say that he’s wrong and I can prove it,” Lena stated as she looked at Winn who wasn’t looking at her, frowning to his notes.

“Speaking of her, Miss Sawyer?” Maxwell spoke to Maggie who immediately came to life upon the mention of her name.

“Yes, Mr. Lord?” she said as she fumbled with her sunglasses.

“Do you know why Miss Luthor is absent today?” he asked and Lena scowled.

“What do you mean, absent?” Lena asked but for some reason the teacher ignored her completely.

“I don’t know, she might be sick or something,” Maggie replied, shrugging.

“What the fuck?” Lena stood up. “Is this some kind of joke?” she asked as she looked around, nobody was giving her a mind; Lena frowned. “What the hell is wrong with you all?” She approached her teacher and waved her hands in front of him. Nothing. She slapped him but he didn’t move. She could swear that she felt how she slapped him.

 Lena started clapping her hands in the faces of her classmates but none of them showed reactions whatsoever. Even Maggie. She walked to the front row and grabbed the book, throwing it across the room. Book crashed into shelf, throwing everything over. Lena looked around, still no reaction. Then she looked at the desk from where she picked up the book she threw only to find it back there in the same position. Her head snapped towards shelf that looked untouched.

Looking back at her own desk, she deepened her frown. Her backpack that was supposed to be there wasn’t there anymore. _Okay, this is not funny, so not fucking funny!_

 “What the hell is happening?!” Lena screamed as she turned the table upside down only to blink once for everything to turn back to its previous state - untouched.

* * *

 Lena was walking around the school for hours, screaming and kicking until there was no one left in the hallways. She even got back to her home only to find out that neither house personnel could see or hear her. She found her backpack right in the same spot from where she picked it up this morning. Same was with her bike.

Lena was on the verge of a panic attack when she remembered the place where she woke up. She ran like a crazy, trying to find that damn place. Luckily for her, Lena had excellent memory and when she reached the well, her breath hitched in her throat. As much as it was possible in her state, of course, since she was looking down at her body, lying down in there, covered in blood and dark bruises. She immediately crawled back into the well, trying to listen to her own body.

Nothing. She couldn’t hear anything. So she was dead…. She really was dead. That weren’t good news but if she was dead, then why was she still here? So this is what afterlife looked like? From what she could tell it was horrible and she wasn’t really surprised to find herself dead. She looked terrible. Beaten up, covered in dirt and blood, her hair messy, few strands sticking to her blood soaked face.

Lena ran all the way to Jack’s house, only to find there a mess of empty bottles and pizza boxes. Jack was passed out on the couch, sleeping sound.  She tried to slap him awake, scream at him or break something but no matter what she did it still turned out to be in vain.

She found Lucy in Jack’s room, tangled in the blankets, deep asleep. She tried out everything. Shouting, punching, ice water. Everything kept going back to normal in the blink of an eye and nobody seemed to notice her presence.

She got back to school; kenopsia that she felt in that moment would give her chills if she were alive. Walking down the empty hallways, extremely distressed as she tried to find some possible explanation for this. She was desperate and scared, and she really wished she died so she wouldn’t be stuck here like this. She was desperate and scared, and she really wished she died so she wouldn’t be stuck here like this.

Suddenly doors opened and she saw Kara walking into the school with a tired look on her face.

“Kara?” Lena called out but the blonde didn’t say anything as she breezed past her. Lena turned on her heel only to scream at blonde at the top of her lungs, “KARA LOOK AT ME!”

Kara froze in place, her brows furrowed and eyes wide as she turned around.

“Lena?” she whispered, and Lena almost cried on the spot. Both fear and relief washing over her.

“Kara, can you hear me?” she asked in disbelief, her eyes wide and filled with fear; stepping closer to her, she repeated the question.

“Lena? Where are you?” the blonde asked as she looked around, confused, trying to find the owner of the voice.

“I’m right in front of you,” Lena replied.

“Lena?” Kara called out again. When she didn’t hear anything, she pulled out her phone, dialing Lena immediately.

She held the phone to her ear as she waited for Lena to answer.

“I won’t answer the damn phone Kara! I’m in a comatose!” Lena cried out, tears of both rage and fear pouring down her cheeks.

Kara shook her head at herself, pushing her phone back into her pocket as she turned around and marched towards her locker.

“KARA!” Lena screamed after her again, she was the only one who heard her so far and she wasn’t about to let her go. The blonde stopped again and whipped her head around with speed of light.

“This is not funny, where are you Lena?” Kara asked, looking around, trying to catch a glimpse of her but vainly.

“Kara I’m here! Right in front of you!” Lena said and Kara furrowed her brows.

“What? How… what is happening?” Kara asked, looking around like a crazy, trying to locate the source of the voice.

“Kara I’m dying, I need your help,” Lena pleaded, trying to pass her voice to Kara somehow, praying to all gods that she’d hear her.

“Oh my god, I’m going crazy,” Kara muttered, her eyes wide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback would be very much appreciated since I'm still doubting publishing this.


	3. The Missing

“Oh my god, I’m going crazy,” Kara muttered, her eyes wide.

“No, Kara! You’re not going crazy!” Lena almost yelled to no avail. Her words weren’t reaching the blonde.

She tried but Kara didn’t hear her anymore. How was it even possible? Why did Kara hear her? Why not somebody else? That probably didn’t matter anymore. After three hours of following Kara around, she eventually gave up.

She turned around and walked back to her house, her face void of emotions. She walked through the crowd, occasionally bumping into people but it seemed that the consequences of her action could be seen only by her before everything would go back to normal.

When she walked into her house, she saw her mother pacing in the living room, phone pressed against her ear. Approaching her, she caught a glimpse of her contact name on the screen of her mother’s phone. Lillian noticed her absence. The only person who noticed her absence was her mother.

“Joseph, start the car we’re going to Lane’s,” Lillian announced and headed out of the living room, her personal bodyguard and driver, Joseph, right after her.

Lena quickly followed them, slipping into the car right next to her mother. Lillian seemed somewhat different, checking her phone every 2 minutes. The car ride was surprisingly calming. She was sitting in the backseat of a black Jaguar with Lillian in silence, Joseph asking a few questions here and there.

It was familiar and it was calming. Just what Lena needed right now. Soon enough they reached Lucy’s house. Lillian stepped out of the car, ordering Joseph to stay in as she strode towards the house. After a few knocks door opened, revealing Lucy behind it, which seemed to got home from Jack’s place. Lucy squinted at brightness of day outside, her eyes going wide at the sight of Lillian.

“Mrs. Luthor?” She asked, surprised, unsure of what to say.

“Hello Lucy, is Lena with you?” she asked and Lucy furrowed her eyebrows.

“I thought she was home?” Lucy answered but it came out as more of a question than a statement.

“No, she didn’t come back home last night. I thought she would be with you,” Lillian said, studying Lucy’s expression, trying to get some answer out of her before she could speak. “When did you see her last time?” she asked eventually.

“We were on a party at Jack Spheer’s house,” Lucy answered vaguely. “I was looking for her, too, but she’s not answering her phone,” she added, her expression growing concerned.

“Did something happen there?” Lillian asked. “At the party?” she added.

“Nothing unusual, it was just senior party Mrs. Luthor,” Lucy answered, hiding her nervousness pretty well, but Lena knew her.

“Lucy it’s not time to be concerned about ratting me out,” Lena grumbled. “Just tell her I had a fight with that brat last night. He killed me!” Lena yelled frustrated at her best friend’s secretiveness.

“Alright, if you hear from her please call me immediately. She has a flight tomorrow,” Lillian said and Lucy frowned.

“What flight?” she asked and Lillian turned around, realization downing on her.

“She didn’t tell you…” she mumbled more to herself than anyone else. “Lena was going to boarding school in Switzerland tomorrow, but since I can’t find her now, it seems I have to reschedule,” Lillian explained and walked to her car. “If she shows herself let me know,” she called over her shoulder and slipped into the car, leaving frowning Lucy behind.

Lena didn’t follow her mother, this time she slipped into Lucy’s house, following her best friend upstairs into her room. Lucy grabbed her phone, dialing Lena immediately.

One… two… three, four, five rings, voicemail: _Hello, you have reached Lena Luthor. Leave the message and I’ll call back. Otherwise don’t expect me to contact you._ There was faint beep and Lucy growled in frustration.

“Damn it Lee, where the hell are you! I’m calling you since the morning, now your mom came here, saying you haven’t spent the night at home. And also you fucking forgot to mention that you were going to Switzerland. TOMORROW! Call me back!” Lucy finished her rant and dropped the phone on the bed.

“I swear to god, I’ll murder you when I find you Lena,” petite brunette grumbled and Lena chuckled at that.

“Too late for that, Luce,” she shot back.

* * *

 It was late evening when Lena went back to her house. Lex was already there, Clark standing right next to him as he argued with mom. When the youngest Luthor heard the voice of her brother, she ran into the house, frantically looking around for her brother.

“Lex, calm down. Lena must have ran away because of that flight tomorrow, teenagers tend to run away when they’re upset,” Clark tried to reason with Lex but Lena could see it all. He’s lying, disgusting physiognomy.

“How could you not tell me? She’s my sister, mom. And look at it now, she’s god knows where because you couldn’t bear her for a few more months!” Lex raised his voice, completely ignoring his best friend.

“It’s not like that, Lex, and you know it,” Lillian said firmly, her expression growing grim. “Lena wasn’t herself recently, Lionel’s death affected her too much. I was afraid she might hurt herself somehow, I though a change of air would help her. That’s why I chose that boarding school,” she said and Lena gaped at her.

That’s why she chose that boarding school, then.  But she couldn’t tell her that she was worried about her? Wow, okay, Lillian really was a weird mother.

“Apparently not, since Lena’s missing right now,” Lex went on, grumbling about something for another few minutes before he interrogated Lillian, asking her where she saw Lena last time and if she knew something about her.

Clark tried to say something like _‘It’s a normal occurrence in her age, she’ll come around’_ before Lillian cut him off sharply, “Not Lena. She’s not like other children and she definitely wouldn’t disappear like that no matter how upset she might have been. I know my daughter, Mr. Kent.”

“Damn yes mom!” Lena cheered from the couch.

Lena listened to them, scowling at Clark’s well played concern. When he lied about seeing Lena at the party the latter snapped, throwing everything into him, throwing him against the wall, smashing his lying face with her mother’s favorite lamp, but it was fruitless. He was standing there, still unharmed, and everything was turning back to its previous state.

Lena screamed in frustration, stomping upstairs into her room. Once inside, Lena felt herself calming down. She looked through the full wall windows; sun was setting behind the horizon, filling Lena’s room in pinkish orange glow.

A few seconds later, Lillian walked into her room, her expression blank as she looked around, Lex following her to check Lena’s laptop for possible clues but he came up empty.

“I already informed my division. They’re gathering volunteers to search the forest near the house of Spheer’s since she was last seen there.” He was about to leave the room when something stopped him in the doors. Lex turned around and looked at her mother. “I’ll find her mom, I’m sure she’ll be okay,” Lex tried to comfort her but Lillian stared at him blankly.

“No…” she mumbled as she turned her gaze back to the sunset. “I have a hunch, Lex. Something bad happened to her….”

Lena stared at her mother as if she was looking at her for the first time. Lex sighed and shook his head.

“There’s no way someone can hide my baby sister from me,” Lex stated and Lena felt her eyes sting. “Even if it’s Lena herself. I’ll find her, mom, I promise,” he said and kissed the top of his mother’s head before leaving the room.

Lillian moved towards the left wall, her fingers caressing the spines of the books on the shelves. She stopped at the last one, looking at it. _The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri_. Pulling out the book from the shelf, Lillian stared at it.

Lena was studying her closely, as if trying to see what her mother was looking at in the book.

“The path to paradise begins in hell,” both said at the same time, Lena smiling slightly.

She watched how single tear slipped down the cheek of her mother and couldn’t stop hers.  Lillian hastily wiped away tears and put the book back to its original place before leaving the room.

Lena turned back to the window, approaching the cage of her small, yellow parrot. It was lying on the bottom of cage, eye blinking lazily and tiny heart beating rapidly. It was apparent that bird was dying.

Lena blinked a few times and her parrot was out of the cage, wrapped in her arms. Lena laughed, trying to hold it without hurting it as it tried to flutter away. Lena looked back at the cage. Her parrot was still inside, almost alive. She stared at it before the bird stopped breathing at all, and when she opened her palms, the bird was already gone.

Only then a realization downed on Lena. She wasn’t dead… she was still alive, that’s why she was stuck here.

“I’m not dead…” Lena whispered at first and smiled, her eyes filling with hope. “I’m not dead,” she repeated and leaped out of her window, running towards the place where her body lied.

Catching up to the couple that just left, Lena listened intently. Someone called Lex and he went a few steps ahead of Clark. The latter immediately fished out his phone to type a quick message. Lena was right there, looking at his screen.

_To: J.C, M.M _They’re about to search the forest. Hurry up._

Lex called Clark and they got into a car, driving away, heading straight towards the forest. The place where people were gathered was dangerously close to the place where Corben and Mike caught Lena.  Turned out, it weren’t only them. So Clark was with them. And he let them beat her like an animal and leave her dying.

On the road were three police cars, over six officers and Lex with Corben, standing in front of volunteers, explaining the safety rules of the search while Clark held the leash of one of the police German shepherds.

In the crowd Lena noticed her friends. Lucy, Jack, Alex, Maggie. Even Kara was here, looking around like a sad, lost puppy. She approached the group, looking at them as Jack and Lucy argued over Lena. Lucy was saying that they shouldn’t have left Lena alone. Jack even confronted Mike but he waved off his accusations. Lex handed Lena’s shirt to the men that held dogs, letting them take her scent.

“…If you find anything, call one of the officers. We’re starting from here,” he finished his speech and took Lena’s shirt back.

Lex turned around and stepped into forest, with a large group scattered around, following him. They were calling Lena’s name over and over again. _As if I can answer_ , Lena snorted at herself.

Lena was standing on the top of the well now that was covered with branches. She looked around, they were so close. Just a few more steps and they would be right where her body lied.

“I’m here!” she yelled but nobody heard her.

A dog started to tug its owner to Lena’s directions, seemingly catching the whiff of something. Unfortunately for Lena it was Clark who held the dog that was almost above Lena right now. Clark bent down to look at what dog was sniffing. It was a wrist watch.

Turning it around, he looked at the back of the watch. Cleaning the hood of the watch, he stared at the words engraved on top of it. _To Lena from Mom. Happy 17 th Birthday. _

It was Lena’s wrist watch. Clark quickly tucked it into his pocket and hastily left the place, tugging the dog along.

“If I survive I’ll kill you!” Lena clenched her jaw as the group went on; passing her potential final resting place in searches of her. _How ironic_ , Lena thought.

* * *

 It was already dark outside; people were still looking for her. Lex stood outside the tent, arguing with John about sending the groups. Corben was trying to convince him to leave it be. They wouldn’t find her at nighttime; but Lex refused to leave. Using all the contacts he had, Lex managed to get a chopper so they could look for Lena from above.

The night was very long but no matter how hard Lex tried, in the end they had to leave because the forest was large and it was heavily raining. Looking for Lena in these conditions was equal to looking for a needle in the haystack. They’d have to return in the morning.

Clark was standing there, about to leave the emergency camp when John walked up to him, pressing the gun into his ribs without much noise.

“Come with me,” he stated and nudged him to move. Clark hadn’t said a word, just turned around and followed his instructions. Soon enough they reached the part of the forest where Mike was waiting for them.

“What are we doing here?” Clark asked but Mike ignored him.

“You two are idiots and I have to fix everything you fucked up,” he replied grimly and turned on the flashlight, taking the lead.

* * *

 Lena was following Kara again, hoping that Kara might hear her. She followed the blonde to the cemetery where she sat in front of the large tombstone.

> **Alura Zor-El**
> 
> _Loving mother and wife_

Kara cried, weeping silently as she told her mother how she missed her. Telling her that Lena was missing. Asking her to help them find Lena. Brunette’s heart clenched at the sight.

“I didn’t know you were adopted…” Lena said as she observed Kara, silent tears dripping down her cheeks. Kara was sitting in quietly, staring at the cold stone in front of her.

“I was doing everything as my mother wanted since the death of my father,” Lena started. “I haven’t resisted even once. Always obeyed to whatever her wishes where. My education, my closet, my life in general. I hated her so much. She and her perfect life that wasn’t fucking perfect at all…” Lena said quietly, as she crouched down next to Kara. “She was going to send me to Switzerland. Saying it was for my own good, and for the first time in my life I resisted to her. At first, I didn’t understand what was the deal. Why was I so upset about the idea of leaving… I thought that maybe it was because of my friends, or my brother… or life that I had here. I came to the conclusion that night at the party.” Lena smiled slightly, “We were sitting on the grass far from pool, alone, talking, and you just looked at me so differently… I knew that the only reason I was mourning my leaving was you. The way you looked at me. No one ever did it that way and it filled me with warmth and excitement and I never felt more alive.” Lena paused as she looked closely at Kara, “I know you can hear me Kara…” she said and put her hand on her shoulder.

Blonde stiffened; Lena would have missed it if she wasn’t that close but she saw it. Kara got to her feet quickly and walked away. Lena didn’t say a word; she just followed her for a while.

“I’m dying Kara. There’s not much time left for me,” Lena was walking right behind her as the blonde walked down the street, heading to her house. “I’m dying and you’re the only one who can save me.”

Kara didn’t say anything as she kept walking, her eyes red and puffy from crying. She wasn’t even looking where she was going, but Lena was. And Kara was about to get hit by car if she wouldn’t look up. Kara kept walking until she heard the scream.

“Kara!” It was loud and clear and Kara spun on her heel, looking back just as car breezed past her. Blonde jumped slightly, looking around panicked and Lena let out a breath of relief.

“Watch where you’re going Kara,” Lena said grumbled, sudden surge of panic still fresh in her non-existent body.

Kara straightened and resumed marching towards her house. Lena was following her closely, occasionally saying something but either Kara ignored her, or she just couldn’t hear her.

Lena didn’t know which one would be worse. Despite her doubts Lena followed Kara into the house. She didn’t say a word to anyone as she headed straight to her room. Walking into the room, Lena immediately noticed the wall filled with pictures. There she was with her sister, friends, her adoptive parents and couples who, Lena assumed, were Kara’s biological parents. She looked like her father. Tall, with blonde hair and the same shade of eyes.

Then there were pictures from school, there was one where Kara was with Lena, they were sitting next to each other in the cafeteria, intently staring at one other with wide smiles, stretched across their faces. Picture was taken by James. Lena remembered that day clearly.

Her heart melted at the fact that Kara had their picture in _her room_. On _her wall_. Lena smiled, staring at the picture, while Kara disappeared into the bathroom and by the sounds that came out of there she was taking a shower.

Lena just sat there, looking around, having nothing to do with herself other than wait. Wait for Kara to come out of the shower. Waiting for Lex to finally find her. Or just waiting for the moment when her body would just die and she’d disappear.

Lena was afraid of what might happen to her if she’d die. If she’d go somewhere else or disappear at all. Either way it’d be still better than staying here like this. Observing how her friends would move on and forget her, watch them die and suffer in the world where everyone would be deaf and blind to her.

Maybe dying wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe she could see her father. Chances of her survival were pathetically slim and she hated herself for keeping trying to reach out to people that no longer heard her. What was the point of her survival anyways? She’d be shipped off to Switzerland as soon as she’d step out of the hospital.

Lena’s musings were interrupted when Kara came out of the shower. She wore grey sweatpants and an old army t-shirt. She dried her hair with a towel before throwing it on the chair and lying on her bed, not even bothering with moving covers.

Lena lied right next to her, head propped up on the elbow as she watched Kara’s back. She looked so sad. Why did she look so sad? Was there something that she missed while she was with Lex?

Lena caressed her arm without touching it; slowly sliding her palm up and down inch above the blonde’s skin. Kara shifted, turning to face Lena that lied a few inches away from her. Her eyes were closed but Lena could tell she wasn’t entirely asleep yet.

Kara opened her eyes slightly, blinking slowly with no intention of staying awake.  Blue eyes stared straight into Lena’s emerald ones. Kara stared at her for few peaceful moments before her eye fluttered close and she fell asleep.

Lena could swear on her father’s grave that Kara saw her. Kara was looking into her eyes, straight into her eyes, her expression unreadable. She stared at Lena for a few long moments before closing her eyes.

Kara saw her. Lena knew that Kara saw her. Lena rested her head on the pillow, and stared at the sleeping girl in front of her. She looked so young and vulnerable, yet Lena never saw her more beautiful than she was in that moment. Here, sound asleep, almost in Lena’s arms.

* * *

 Lena blinked her eyes open. She was lost for a second before she remembered everything from yesterday and sat up. She was still in Kara’s room but Kara herself wasn’t here. Looking at the clock on the bedside table, Lena jumped to her feet.

It was almost 9 in the morning. Lena quickly slipped out of Kara’s room, walking down the stairs and out of the house.

Luckily for her Kara wasn’t far gone. She was at the corner of the street when Lena caught the glimpse of blonde locks. She followed her, walking down the street a foot away from her. Kara wasn’t going to school. She could tell from the opposite direction blonde took.

Lena followed her quietly, not saying a world as they walked silently side by side. That was until Lena recognized her neighborhood when she came to her senses. Kara was going to Lena’s house, on top of the hill, distanced from other houses.

Lena expected her to knock, or at least summon the security though the transmitter at the gates but no. Kara didn’t do any of this; she just rolled up her sleeves and crawled over the tall fence. Lena was quick to follow her, intrigued by what the blonde girl had in mind.

Kara crawled up the tree, careful not to make any noise, she jumped onto Lena’s wide balcony. Glass doors were open and she slipped inside. Looking around, Kara sighed.

“Your room has changed so much…” Kara said, observing Lena’s desk and tall bookshelves, filled with books. A few abstract paintings on her wall, glass angel resting on the third shelf from the floor. Desk filled with notebooks and binders. Her laptop open but screen dark.

Kara pulled out the first grade album that lied on the top shelf. Opening it, she smiled at the group picture that greeted her.

“I remember you…” she said with a fond smile as she pointed a finger at a small 5-year-old raven haired girl in the picture, standing near the gold haired girl, slightly taller than her. “You always had the highest grades in the class.” Kara sat on Lena’s bed, smiling at the picture. “I discovered that I liked you the day when you broke Leslie’s nose because she threw my books into the lake at summer camp.” Kara said with a smile.

“You were in Mrs. Chase’s class?” Lena asked, crouching down in front of Kara, as she looked at the picture.

“She was such a bitch,” both said quietly at the same time, Kara chucking at the memory.

Leaning back, Kara lied on the bed, Lena following her suit. Kara was smiling and staring at the darts board on the ceiling. She reached over and took one of the arrows, shooting it upwards.

“Who did this to you?” Kara asked quietly and Lena prepped her head on her elbow.

“Your cousin, Clark, Mike Matthews and my brother’s partner, detective Corben,” Lena answered, not sure if Kara would hear it or not. She couldn’t tell anything by Kara’s expression but as soon as words left her mouth she saw Kara’s expression harden. It disappeared as quickly as it appeared.

Crawling off of the bed Kara ducked her head and reached into the box hidden underneath it. Pulling it out, she opened it, smiling at the pictures. Lena was sitting right next to her as Kara watched the pictures.

Lena would make a comment about the dates of the pictures and where they were taken here and there. Kara stopped on one particular picture. There was Lena, no more than nine years old, with her father on the docks of Midvale, both holding fishing rods and smiling.

“Those are the last pictures of dad,” Lena said, sad smile settling on her face.

They stared at the picture until the moment was interrupted by a sudden gasp in the room. Lillian was standing in the doorway, staring at Kara confused and surprised. The blonde reached for her bag immediately and dashed out to the balcony door.

She panted as she ran away from the house. She stopped as soon as she reached the road that was going through the forest.

“Where are you?” Kara asked and Lena knew what Kara was asking.

She wanted to know where her body was and maybe finally Lena had a chance to survive.

“There’s a small bridge a mile away from here,” Lena said and Kara nodded to herself before sprinting off in the given directions.

In 15 minutes Kara was already into the woods, Lena whispering directions on their way until they reached the well where Lena’s body was dropped into.

Kara dropped her backpack on the ground and gripped the edge of the hatch. She gathered all her strength and tugged it to her, trying to remove the cover.

Kara finally managed and pulled the hatch away, only to look down and find nothing.

“No…” Lena whispered. “No, no, no! NO!” Lena cried, panic rising in her chest as she looked around. “They moved my body. Someone was here and took my body Kara,” Lena said, standing next to Kara.

Lena looked around, trying to find something, anything that might prove that someone was here. She noticed something in the bushes and ran up to Kara.

“Kara, look over there,” she whispered. “Look at the bushed to your left,” Lena said.

Kara stared down the well blankly and turned her head left, her brows furrowing as she stood up and moved towards the bush. Crouching down, she reached out and picked up the set of keys. Small crest of Superman was attached to it. She recognized it immediately and her face paled.

Quickly scrambling to her feet she took a good look at the item, her expression growing hard again.

“Hold on, Lena,” she whispered and sprinted towards the road, Lena running after her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me your thoughts in the comment, they are only thing that keeps me going. Have nice day.


	4. Floodgates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I look at the sky and I look at the light and I look at the shape of the earth, all the same as theirs, and yet not, and the bleeding never stops.”  
> ― Emmi Itäranta, Memory of Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what? I finally got my act together and wrote this. Thanks for sticking with me. Leave me your thoughts after you read my wordvomit.
> 
> Thanks to Lefthandedphoenix this is finally readable. So applauds to my sweet beta!

_Lena and Kara were sitting in the school cafeteria and were eating their lunch alone as they talked. Lena was saying something about physics and jotting down something in her notebook while chewing on her sandwich._

_“When Donkey asks Shrek what his name is, Shrek pauses before he says, ‘Shrek,’ and I’m convinced that he came up with it on the spot,” Kara says out of the blue, shoving some pizza into her mouth. Lena stops mid talk and looks at Kara before throwing her head back and starting laughing._

_“What?” Kara asks, smiling, biting her lip._

_“Nothing. You’re adorable, Kara,” Lena says with a fond smile, suppressing the urge to smirk when blonde blushes._

* * *

Lena wasn’t feeling her usual altschmerz that followed her everywhere. Now that Kara was about to go rogue she felt a new wave of panic, making her somewhat jittery. More than usual.

 Kara knocked on the door three times and waited. Soon enough she heard faint footsteps and the door opened, revealing her cousin.

“Oh hey Kara, you okay?” Clark asked immediately, sidestepping to let the blonde in.

“Yeah,” Kara answered as she breezed past him, pulling out set of keys out of her pocket, she waved it in front or Clark. “You should be more careful with your keys,” Kara said with a fake smile and Clark chuckled.

He walked towards her to accept the keys.

“Ah, and I was thinking I lost them. Thanks, Kar,” he said while walking towards his living room. “Where did you find them?”

Kara shrugged, flopping down on the couch. Now she was sure that keys belonged to Clark. She felt betrayed. How could her cousin do something like that with Lena, with anyone really, but. It was Lena. They were friends, how the fuck could he do it?

“In the forest near the well where Lena’s body was laying until you moved it recently,” Kara answered bluntly watching her cousin freeze, all color draining from his face.

“What?” Clark asked, trying to fake a laugh to save himself but failed. “Where’s Lena?” Kara stood up, approaching the taller man as he stood frozen.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Kara,” he answered simply, but Kara could sense how panicked he was right now.

 “Where. Is. Lena, Clark?” she asked again, clearly on the edge. Clark was quiet, considering his options, they both knew truth all too well to hide it behind some flimsy excuses.

“I don’t know.” he said quietly, looking into Kara’s eyes.

Blonde clenched her jaw, approaching her cousin with light speed and slamming him against the wall, both of her hands gripping collars of his button-up.

“Don’t lie to me!” The man flinched at the sudden outburst. “I need to find her, tell me what you did to her body.”

“I really don’t know, Kara, okay?” he huffed. “I helped Corben and Matthews put her body in car trunk, and I don’t know what they did to her.”

“Mike?” Kara asked, her eyes wide with rage. “Mike Matthews? My classmate?”

“Yes, him and Lex’s partner,” he muttered, eyes casted downwards.

Kara backed off suddenly, looking at him disbelievingly while shaking her head with bitter smile plastered on her face.

“How could you do that…” she whispered, looking at him with pure disappointment.

“I tried to warn her to not run off like that, but she didn’t listened to me, I-”

“SHUT UP!” Kara screamed at him, tears dripping down her cheeks. “I don’t want hear any of it.”

The blonde stormed out of the apartment, leaving her stunned cousin back, while Lena followed her suit.

Lena was there, watching everything happen. There wasn’t much she could do for her, all she could do was observe and try to reach out to Kara.

She watched as Kara went back to her house, sneaking into her foster dad’s office to retrieve a gun from the last drawer. Checking the magazine, she loaded the gun and shoved it in her backpack.

“No… Kara, put it back,” Lena pleaded as she followed Kara out of the room. “Put it back, please, you don’t need it.” No avail. Kara was acting as if she wasn’t even there. “Kara, please, you can get hurt. Leave the gun at home.” Whatever Lena said fell deaf to Kara’s ears as blonde rushed out of the house and headed towards the school.

_Oh my God…_

* * *

_A teacher was talking about continents as room filled with first graders who listened to him intently. He explained who discovered some continents before asking Kara to come to the map, and show them North America. Talking about discoveries, the teacher went on, Kara getting back to her seat, next to Lena._

_“Now, Winn, name one important thing we have today but we didn’t have 10 years ago.”_

_“ME!” Winn yelled excitedly._

_The youngest Luthor got bored quickly as she started to talk to Kara, making her laugh, catching teacher’s eye. Not long after a question was directed to Lena,_

_“Lena? What do you call a person who keeps talking when no one is interested anymore?”_

_“A teacher,” the small brunette deadpanned before class erupted into fit of giggles._

* * *

“What the fuck is going on?” Lucy’s eyes widened when she saw the basketball room of the school filled with chairs, big picture of Lena resting on the podium, as director was getting ready for the speech.

Alex looked up at the sound, sighing as her eyes settled on younger Lane. She stepped towards Lucy, Maggie following close behind.

“Police came here early morning. Detective Corben or something said that Lena is dead,” she said, barely keeping her voice even.

“WHAT?” Lucy almost yelled, her heart hammering in her chest with sudden surge of panic.

“Yeah,” Maggie chimed in. “They said Lena was drunk, and she fell into river. They didn’t find the body yet but Corben looked very sure that she was dead,” she added, looking anywhere but at Lucy.

“No. This is impossible. They’re wrong. Lena wasn’t that drunk to stumble into the river,” She stated firmly. “I need to speak to Lex about this. This can’t be real.” That was all the petite brunette said before bolting out of the room. Alex and Maggie right after her, hot on their heels.

* * *

_“Royal flash, baby,” Lucy grinned as she dropped her cards on the table. “Time to take a bath, Lee.”_

_Lena narrowed her eyes at Lucy, rolling her eyes, before huffing and standing up from where she was settled._

_“Wait, is she really going to do that?” Maggie asked with an arched eyebrow._

_“Apparently,” Alex answered as they followed Lena out of the cabin to the lake._

_“I’ll stay here!” Winn yelled as she shut the doors of the cabin._

_It was dark outside, and group of girls made their way to the pier with a bunch of flashlights. Lena stood on the edge as she started taking her clothes off, dropping them on the edge of the pier before turning around; Kara whipped her head around, blushing furiously as Lena smirked._

_The brunette saluted to her gang, Lucy answering with the same as she brought her hand to her temple. The youngest Luthor turned around and took a deep breath before diving into the ice-cold lake, naked._

* * *

 Mike was finally calmer about this entire situation. Yesterday they moved Lena’s body, and for the evening there wouldn’t be even trace of her. Corben assured him that he would be there when that would happen, so he had nothing to worry about anymore.

He was in the locker room, changing after the morning training when something, or more accurately, someone slammed him against the wall. Before he could come to his senses something cold was pressed up against his jaw and when he finally looked, he saw Kara, watching him with cold expression, anger burning bright behind her baby blues.

“Where’s Lena?” she asked, her voice low and warning.

“What?” he asked, momentarily confused. At that Kara clicked the safety off on Beretta M9, pressing the barrel into his face with bruising force.

“Kara, please, stop it,” Lena pleaded, but Kara either didn’t hear her or just decided to ignore her. “Please, it’s not worth it. Look what they did to me because of a few words. I don’t want you to get hurt, please get out of here.”

“I asked where you moved Lena’s body to,” Kara said firmly, looking more intimidating than ever, her eyes showing no sign of hesitation. She could faintly hear pleading in the back of her head, and it angered her only more. They almost killed Lena, and Lena was the one who asked for mercy now? No, that won’t do. “Act like you don’t know what I’m talking about, and I’ll blow your non-existent brains out, and I don’t fucking care if I spend the next 20 years of my life in jail because of it.”

Mike visibly gulped, trying to process everything, looking for some way out. He was at a loss for words, not knowing what to do, as Kara held him at gunpoint.

“It was an accident, Kara. We didn’t want to kill her. We just wanted to teach her a lesson. Nothing more, we–”

He was suddenly cut off when Kara slammed the handle of the gun into the side of his face before pressing it back against his jaw.

Blood burst out of his nose, dripping down his lips and chin; look of shock and fear settling in his face. Kara clutched the collar of his shirt tightly before speaking again.

“Now, consider your answer wisely because if next time something that comes out of your mouth won’t be the answer I need, what you get in your head next won’t be just a handle of the gun.” Kara was already enraged enough even without this douchebag pouring fuel into fire.

“She's in the river,” he said finally. “Right below the Dam. It’s opening at 3pm, and the flow of the water will wash her body away. Even God won't find her after that,” he spat, looking somewhat smug with the look of anger he caused on Kara’s face.

Next thing he saw was something being slammed into his face, and fell on the ground. Kara jabbed the handle of the gun into the back of his head and Mike blacked out. She quickly crouched down, pulling out the phone out of his pocket and shoving it into her own before bolting out of the locker room with the speed of light.

* * *

_“_

_“…around 1 AM, I hear the sound of a door rattling and a slight whisper saying my name… I sit up a bit and realize it’s coming from my parents’ room, becoming fainter with the passing time. After 10 minutes or so, I gather up the courage to see what the hell is going on. Shitty folding knife in hand, I peak into the hallway and don’t see anything. The noise is still coming from the room next door, the rattling becoming more rushed as I approach. Cautiously, I open the door and sneak inside. It’s pitch black and I can’t see anything. My eyes are taking entirely too long to adjust to the darkness. I’m shuffling forward, and all of the sudden, something grabs and pulls on my leg. At this point I was so freaked out I jumped back. As the whispers continued, I recognized my dad’s voice. He was asking me for help. He had a stroke while walking to use the bathroom around 1 AM that night. After he fell, he was able to use his left foot to rattle the door to his bathroom… That was the scariest night of my life…_

_“Okay… that’s must have been creepy,” Winn commented as Maggie finished her story._

_“Jeez, that’s one way to describe it,” Lucy muttered before sinking further into couch cushions._

_“Your turn, baby Luthor,” Maggie said, grinning, and Lena chuckled,_

_“I don’t have stories like that,” she said, taking sip from her beer._

_“There must be something,” Alex said as she dropped into Maggie’s lap with her own bottle of beer._

_After a long minute Lena remembered something._

_“Okay, I’ve got one, I think. One day I decided to go into the downstairs closet with a flashlight and read, something I used to do since I was 5 to get some peace and quiet… About an hour in, I shift a little to get comfortable and I hear a low, slow, warped, hoarse voice say ‘you always make me happy,’” Lena said chuckling as the group listened intently. “I flipped my shit, hit my head on the low ceiling, and practically broke the door down, getting out. After hyperventilating and explaining to Lex why there was no color left in my face, I went back to see what it was. It was my stuffed Little Bear from when I was 3 or 4 years old that I happened to lean on just right to press his belly. When I pressed his stomach again though, nothing. This poor bear I hadn’t played with since I was a toddler used the last of its power, used it’s dying breath to tell me I made it happy. It made me happy too when it wasn’t making me piss myself.”_

_Lucy burst out laughing, “Oh yeah, I definitely remember that.” She said as others made their comments._

_“Well, mine was a toy at least,” Lena chuckled, arching an eyebrow at Lucy,_

_“What do you mean?” Alex chimed in immediately and Lucy sighed._

_“I once babysat a girl called Sarah who used to love when I went round. Her Mum used to tell me how she always requested me over the others. One evening Sarah took things a step further by saying, ‘When you die, I want to put you in a glass jar, so I can keep you and see you forever,’" Petite brunette explained_

_“Sweet baby Jesus…” Winn muttered under his breath. “I’m hanging out with a potential bunch of creeps._

_“What about that story about bones?” Lena prompted with an amused smirk._

_“Bones?” Kara questioned with raised eyebrows, looking over at Lucy._

__“Yeah, well, I was cuddling Sarah on the couch when we watched cartoons, and suddenly she turns to me  and says, very seriously, ‘I promise I won’t ever chew on your bones, I promise.’ And I froze like, ‘what the hell you’re planning to do with me kiddo?’”_  
_

* * *

**2:13** …. Kara had only 47 minutes to rescue Lena, otherwise she will drown there. The blonde was running for her life. Getting to the Dam from here would take time. She knew that she needed a car.  She couldn’t ask Alex for a car. It was way too dangerous. Neither she could Lucy. That’s when she ran back into the locker room, and turned everything upside down until she found the keys to Mike’s car.

Quickly approaching the dark blue Chevy Camaro 1979 in the school’s parking lot, Kara opened the doors and hopped in. Starting the engine, she sped off towards the gravel road to the outskirts of the town.

If she wanted to get there in time she had to avoid traffic of the city. It was nearing 3 and she couldn’t waste any more time; she pressed the gas pedal, speeding through the woods.

It was 2:43 when she got there, pulling up near the bridge. She quickly recognized black Chevrolet Camry that probably belonged to Corben, who Kara spotted immediately, standing on the bridge of the Dam and smoking while looking down the river. Following the line of his sight Kara spotted slim figure, lying in the river, water covering the body to waist. Navy Henley shirt immediately confirming that figure lying there was Lena indeed.

“There you are…” Kara whispered, a brief wave of relief washing over her before it was replaced by panic immediately when she checked the watch. 10 minutes. She had only 5 minutes before gate’s opening.

“Call Lex, Kara,” Lena whispered just as Kara was about to get out of the car. “Call Lex. Corben is a detective. He has a gun, too.”

A few seconds later Kara grabbed her phone; scrolling through her contacts, she spotted Lex’s and dialed it. One ring… two… finally it clicked, and a deep voice came through the phone.  

 _“Kara? Are yo–”_  the voice asked from the other side

“I found Lena,” Kara cut him off. “She’s in the river at the Dam. It’s opening at 3pm and if we won’t get her out of there we’ll lose her.”  she continued quickly,

Kara heard shuffling from the other side before Lex’s voice came through the speaker.

_“I’m on my way,” Lex replied._

“Lex, Corben’s here. It’s him, my cousin and Mike Matthews. They did this to Lena, and you need to get here. And very fast.”

“What?” she could hear disbelief in his voice.

“Call the back up, you might need it.” Kara said and hung up.

* * *

_It was the first day for senior year at school. The school was filled with students, greeting each other and exchanging pleasantries, some bickering and so on. Lena Luthor walked into the school and went straight to their French class, spotting the desk at which Kara was seated, scribbling down something in her notebook. Brunette approached her, setting bouquet of Heliotrope on her desk and giving her dazzling smile that almost gave Kara an aneurism. “Nice to see you again, Kara.” That was all Lena said before she walked back to her usual seat._

_Kara was looking through the flowers for a whole hour after she got home before she found meaning of Heliotrope. Her heart stopped beating for a moment as she read the meaning of it._

__“’Heliotrope represents eternal love.’”_  
_

* * *

“Everyone free comes with me, I need an ambulance and the rescue group at Dam. Also someone call there and tell them to hold off the release of water,” Lex yelled in the main room of the division and rushed out of the doors with a few officers and Detective Oscar Rodas.

“Nobody’s answering at Hydroelectric Station,” Rodas said as she finished talking on the phone.

“Goddammit!” Lex clenched his jaw. “Try again. They are about to wash off my sister to her death, they better fucking answer.”

Lex kept dialing Kara but it kept going to voicemail. Swearing under his breath he turned the sirens on and sped through the city towards the Dam as fast as possible.

“Rescue group is on their way to the Dam,” Rodas said as soon as he received the message.

“Reach to Hydroelectric Station. If they open the floodgate, then it doesn’t matter if the rescue group will get there or not.”

* * *

_“Water is the most versatile of all elements. It isn't afraid to burn in fire or fade into the sky, it doesn't hesitate to shatter against sharp rocks in the rainfall or drown into the dark shroud of the earth. It exists beyond all beginnings and ends. On the surface nothing will shift, but deep in underground silence, water will hide and with soft fingers coax a new channel for itself, until stone gives in and slowly settles around the secret space._

_Death is water's close companion, and neither of them can be separated from us, for we are made of the versatility of water and the closeness of death. Water doesn't belong to us, be we belong to water: when it has passed through our fingers and pores and bodies, nothing separates us from earth.”_

_Lena closed the book and looked up, smiling at Kara. “What do you think?”_

_“I think that I need to borrow that book form you.” Kara answered._

_“Take whenever you wish,” the brunette said with a smile. “Should I go on or…?”_

_“Go on, please,” Kara confirmed with a bright smile as she shifted closer to Lena at the Library table._

__“Secrets carve us like water carves stone. On the surface nothing will shift, but things we cannot tell anyone chafe and consume us, and slowly our life settles around them, molds itself into their shape…”_  
_

* * *

 5 minutes left before opening of floodgates. Kara was getting agitated with each passing second. She looked out of the window. Corben was still there, waiting.

“They won’t make it in time,” Kara whispered. Taking the gun with her, she stepped out of the car quickly.

“Kara, no!” Lena yelled but the blonde wasn’t listening to her anymore.

She rushed towards the bridge, pulling out the gun as soon as Corben noticed her. At first he gave her questioning look but as soon as he saw the gun he reached for his own and opened the fire.

“Kara!” Lena screamed at the blonde; the sound of gunshots filled the air.

Kara ducked down as bullets breezed past her. Peaking behind of the car she pulled the trigger. It took her three shots to hit it’s mark. Corben fell down clutching his arm and ribs tightly. Before Kara could get closer he fired few more times. The blonde finally dodged the gun and threw it as far as possible, running, as she crossed the bridge.

Kara practically leaped down the concrete stairs, floodgates finally opening as flow of the water grew more and more. Air was filled with sound of the sirens as police finally got on the scene.

The blonde kept running until she finally reached Lena. The brunette looked dead but Kara knew better than that. The flow was growing rapidly, the youngest Danvers taking a hold of a fragile flatliner in her arms and tugging her towards the shore. Dragging out the dead weight of Lena on the rocks wasn’t easy.

“We’re over here!” Kara yelled, trying to get attention of Police that was fussing around the bridge up there. “Please, help!”

Kara moved back slightly, holding Lena’s head above the water surface as she tried to not let her slip into the strong flow of the water.

“It’s okay, Lee. I got you…” Kara whispered as she kissed Lena’s temple. “I got you.”

Once EMTs got to them Kara backed away, running back to her car as rescue group set Lena’s body on the stretcher and carried her towards the car. Lena followed her body as doctors started reanimating her in the ambulance car.

“250. Clear,” one of them spoke as a wave of electrify shook her unconscious body. “Charge, 300. Clear,” Lena felt sick, as if something wrong was happening inside her. “Charge, 350. Clear,” EMT said and everything went black.

 Kara was back into Mike’s car, muffling cries as she clutched her abdomen, trying to stop the bleeding. Turned out Corben got her after all, but high on adrenaline Kara didn’t even notice it until she was halfway to the car.  Resting her head on the steering wheel she took a few calming breaths, trying to even out her breathing. Suddenly someone knocked on the window, and Kara looked up. Police officer was standing there, asking if she was okay.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine,” Kara replied faintly, all color drained from her face because of the pain and all mental and physical exhaustion that caught up on her from the last three days. The officer noticed her bloody hand holding the wound.

“Ma’am, I have to ask you to step out,” he said calmly.

“No…” Kara replied weakly. “I need to go,” she said and started the engine, pulling away, quickly following the ambulance cars that sped towards the hospital while police officer ran after her, trying to stop her.

* * *

 _"When I first saw you_    
_That laughter..._    
_Right away you reminded me_    
_Of everyone_    
_I loved and wanted to be with..._    
_I totally froze,_    
_I had no words..._    
_I hardly uttered anything_    
_Don't think bad of me,_    
_We didn't part yet_    
_But I already want to see you again..._    
_I can't stop smelling your hair._    
_Can you stay? Fair question_    
_The first kiss..._    
_I've got your name on my lips..._    
_Those are simple words,_    
_But I was proud of them..._    
_There are so many things all around,_    
_But it seems_    
_To be different with you,_    
_I feel that you matter to me._    
_We were falling asleep holding hands..._    
_I was so scared_    
_Of losing you,_    
_You're so beautiful..._    
_I couldn't listen to your breathing much,_    
_I don't need anything without you, do your hear me!?_    
_We were starting in a dream..._    
_Our path to success..._    
_Our day was long_    
_And filled up with laughter._    
_We were living out of time,_    
_Never thinking about years or minutes._    
_Happy like kids._    
_We were just in love_    
_And shiny as lightbulbs._    
_You seem to come from another planet._    
_You don't look like anyone else._    
_When I talk about you_    
_I get goosebumps on my skin._    
_We were always on our own,_    
_Why am I so glad..._    
_We're simple kids,_    
_Not Bonny and Clyde._    
_We think about one another._    
_Happy to live..._    
_Like invisible beings..._    
_Cracks on the front...._    
_And if you ever ask me_    
_If I have a secret,_    
_I'll say I'm happy,_    
_Because I have you_    
_We'll always be together, listen_    
_I don't need anything in the world without you_    
_I thank heaven,_    
_I thank fate,_    
_That I dedicate this world to you._    
_With you I found out_    
_Who I really was._    
_All of my fears_    
_Are far away_    
_In this town,_    
_In this apartment,_    
_In this life, in this strange world,_    
_I beg you to stay with me,_    
_You're my love,_    
_You're all I need..."_

_The letter never reached Kara._

* * *

 It took quite some effort to get into the hospital unnoticed. Kara was waiting for a good hour before she managed to get into Lena’s room. She had to wait until Lex and Lillian went down to the hospital cafeteria before entering the hallway.

Kara slipped into the hospital chamber, clad in a dark hoodie, covering blood. She approached Lena’s bed and lied down next to her. The blonde watched her for a long minute, not saying a word. Lifting her head up, she pressed her cold lips to Lena’s now warm ones, tears spilling down her eyes.

Crying felt good, especially when they were tears that they didn't wanted to push away. They weren't drops of sadness, no. They were more about the feelings of joy, relief, happiness and freedom streaming away from their hurt eyes. They were temporary cleaners to wash away the pain that would return tomorrow. Again and again.

The brunette opened her eyes, kissing back just in time. When Kara pulled back she looked into Lena’s eyes before smiling faintly. This wasn’t how they imagined their first kiss. Not even close. But in that blissful moment neither of them cared of the situation they ended up in. They didn’t want to put it away again because now they knew for sure that there might not be tomorrow for them.

“Hey.” Lena whispered, her voice hoarse and low.

“Hey back,” Kara whispered back with a small smile before settling her head on her shoulder and closing her eyes forever.

 It was true in a way. There was no tomorrow for one of them, but neither of them was aware of it. There wouldn’t be first date for them anymore. Neither second nor third. There wouldn’t be good mornings or good nights. No sharing kisses, beds, life or children. Those three words died and rotten in their throats forever as they never been said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. Fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worst, returned. But one thing about human beings puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection even if it kills them slowly within. -Sigmund Freud


End file.
